I Might Be in Love with All My Friends with Emily Rau
Emily is an Assistant Professor of Digital Humanities at the University of Nebraska—Lincoln and the editor of the Willa Cather Archive. She was diagnosed at 32 with Stage I, Triple Negative breast cancer and the BRCA1+ genetic mutations. She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, where she enjoys playing ultimate frisbee, listening to Bruce Springsteen, and having IPAs with friends on patios in the sun.
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I Might Be in Love with All My Friends
What if the people who carry you through cancer don't fit neatly into any category?
Friend. Lover. Family. Caregiver.
In this Pride Month archive episode of The Burn, Emily Rau challenges the stories we're most used to hearing about breast cancer and intimacy. Diagnosed at 32 with Stage I Triple-Negative breast cancer and later learning she carries the BRCA1 genetic mutation, Emily writes about navigating treatment while single, queer, polyamorous, and 1,500 miles from her family.
This isn't a story about finding one person to save her.
It's a story about many people showing up.
Through chemo, surgery, grief, desire, friendship, and healing, Emily explores how cancer expanded—not diminished—her understanding of love. Her memoir reminds us that care can arrive in unexpected forms, and that intimacy is often found in the people who keep showing up when life becomes unrecognizable.
As Emily writes:
“My friends who are sometimes lovers and who keep showing up for me.”
And ultimately:
“It looked like combining great pain with deep pleasure, blurring the lines between friends and lovers and family, and living with expansive love on the edge of the Great Plains.”
This episode offers a powerful reflection on chosen family, queer identity, and what it means to be fully seen in a changing body.
Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode
Set your timer for eight minutes, write without stopping or editing yourself. There is magic in leaning into that time. The prompt is:
Intimacy now looks like…
If you find that you write best with a good prompt, check out our free prompts and learn about our writing workshops.
Happy writing! Until next time, take good care.
Episode Links
Read a transcript of this podcast
Purchase the digital 2023 “Love & Intimacy” issue of Wildfire Journal.
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