“I Wish I Cared Less” with Raina Kerman

Raina Kerman was diagnosed at 45 with Stage II,Triple Negative breast cancer. Raina is a dog-loving, fantasy-reading, fitness enthusiast living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Raina reads her essay “I Wish I Cared Less” from Wildfire Journal’s 2025 “Hair” issue. Her piece is about the painful, exhausting, and at times almost comically intense world of cold capping, and what it looks like to want something so badly - not just hair, but agency, normalcy, identity - and to have to let it go. 

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I Wish I Cared Less: Keeping My Hair By Any Means Necessary

“Hair, you don't want to care about it, but you do. You don't want it to fill your every waking thought… but it does.”⁠

When 45-year-old Raina Kerman was diagnosed with Stage 2 Triple Negative breast cancer, she knew almost nothing about the medical world she was stepping into - except one thing: she wanted to keep her hair.⁠

In her essay, Raina takes us deep into the world of cold capping. The pain, the determination, the absurdity of maxi pads on her forehead in public, and the unwavering love of her mom and dad hauling dry ice every week.⁠

This is not a tidy story of triumph. It’s one of effort, grief, surrender, and resilience. It’s about sitting in the chemo chair, realizing control has slipped away, and learning to let go - until one day, looking in the mirror, she saw herself again.⁠

Raina’s words will speak to anyone who has tried everything and still had to face loss.

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Writing Prompt Inspired by Today’s Episode

Set your timer for fifteen minutes, write without stopping or editing yourself. There is magic in leaning into that time. The prompt is:

The moment I let go…

In today’s story, Reyna takes us right to that moment of letting go - not just of her hair, but of months of effort, hope, and the struggle to control the uncontrollable. We’ve all had moments like this, whether through our cancer experiences or in life in general. For today’s prompt, I invite you to reflect on something you were holding onto during or after your own experience. What was it like to realize you needed to let go - and how does it feel now, on the other side?

If you find that you write best with a good prompt, check out our free prompts and learn about our writing workshops.

Happy writing! Until next time, take good care.

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Episode Links

Read a transcript of this episode.

Purchase the "Hair” issue of Wildfire Journal.

Find Raina on Instagram.

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